Using the 5 Love Languages to Build Client Relationships

The 5 Love Languages can be implemented into the spa and wellness industry to help create an authentic connection with guests.

No matter the question, love is always the answer—generally speaking! If you have heard about the 5 Love Languages, you’ve probably learned about them in the context of romantic relationships.

As I often say, “Relationships are the new currency; how are you cultivating yours?” You can implement the 5 Love Languages as a secret weapon to build client relationships. It will help you level up and create an authentic connection with your guests. 

Marriage counsellor Gary Chapman, Ph.D., created this concept to help people better understand each other and communicate better. Basically, love languages are how individuals prefer to give and receive love, and your personal love language is what makes you feel loved.

In this article, we are putting a spa spin on the topic. We can very easily implement this as an industry. In fact, we naturally perform them as part of our daily routines, but often do not even realize it! 

First, let’s identify the 5 Love Languages:

1.Physical touch

2.Words of affirmation

3.Gift giving

4.Quality time

5.Acts of service

This topic resonates with so many, and when you implement these simple principles, your client relationships will improve significantly. Let’s break down each one with examples of how to implement them in your spa. 

Physical Touch

Sadly, many people suffer from touch deprivation, meaning that they are literally not getting the physical touch necessary for their well-being. I know its generally not common practice to hug clients, however as years passed in my own practice, I did hug many of them. (Remember, not everyone is touchy feely, so read the room.)

We as spa professionals have the (legal) privilege to touch our clients during their treatments, which is something we should never take for granted. Almost every service we offer involves touch at some point, but if a guest is new, you can create an instant connection that makes them feel at ease by making eye contact and shaking their hand when you greet them. 

Be mindful in a first-time client meeting and gauge their response to your greeting. We never want to compromise their comfort level.

During the service, pay attention to the small things like asking the client if the pressure of your massage is comfortable for them, or whether they are warm enough. Nurture them and watch their body language to ensure they are relaxed. 

Words of Affirmation 

If your love language is words of affirmation, this means that you love hearing and/or telling people how much you appreciate them. It is one of my top love languages, so I always make sure to tell my clients, employees and business colleagues that I appreciate them and verbally express my gratitude for their loyalty, referrals and kindness. 

Speaking kind words can go a long way and can linger long after a treatment is over! One practice I have always used in my own spa is to carefully craft a handwritten welcome and thank you note on my signature purple paper. I use their name and thank them for choosing the spa; it’s like a love note of gratitude, and it’s a simple way to wow new and returning guests.

When speaking to clients, you want the words you use to be sincere and genuine. You can compliment them on their outfit or the way their hair looks that day, as long as you are speaking from the heart.

Let them know with your words that you appreciate them choosing you. Clients can choose where they spend their money, and you want to ensure that you’re the best choice.

Gift Giving

Who doesn’t love receiving a gift? Even a small gift tends to make people feel special and appreciated. As spa pros, you can send your clients home with a product sample or two that they can enjoy. We all know that if they love it, they will return to purchase it.

You could also offer a gift with purchase (GWP) or a service for free (SWS) when they book something else, such as an add-on eye treatment when booking a full facial.

Go even further and create a new client welcome package, which could include a sweet treat, a couple of samples, maybe a nail file or a mini hand cream, plus a couple of business cards and perhaps a bounce back offer for a different treatment (to be used within 30 to 45 days). Remember to follow up!

Offering spa refreshments counts too. Even something simple like a specialty chocolate or candy, bottled water or a signature herbal tea (we had a lavender and peppermint blend created for us) can go a long way. They may not be actual gifts that a guest takes home, but they are certainly nice memorable extras that they can enjoy in the spa.

Loyalty programs also fall under this Love Language. VIP clients will feel special with the extra perks, promotions or priority booking that they receive in return for supporting your business.

Quality Time

You want to make sure your guests know that you value and appreciate their time. Acknowledge them and focus on them while they are in your spa and receiving services. Spa therapists who are constantly on their phones or leave the treatment room for long periods risk of the client feeling alone and undervalued. 

Make sure you’re taking your time during the appointment to be thorough and detail oriented. Ask the guest questions, get to know their likes and dislikes, listen to their concerns, go over their post care with them, and then take the time to explain what products would benefit them the best.

One of my pet peeves is when I walk into a business and I am not acknowledged or feel like I’m being rushed. No one likes to feel like they are being an inconvenience, especially if they are paying for a service, so make sure that your clients understand that you respect their time and are genuinely happy to make that time valuable. 

Acts of Service

When you do something for someone, this is considered an act of service. For your clients, this might look like helping them step off the table after a deeply relaxing treatment, or assisting them with their jewellery or their coat—in addition to delivering actual services. The simple act of smiling can also change the energy in your space.

Another personal favorite is sending a sincere follow-up text after their appointment letting them know that you appreciate them coming in and asking about their experience. Be sure to address them by their name and include your name and spa name.

Simple gestures like this during and after your appointments can majorly impact how your guests feel about your business, and that will increase the chances of them returning and referring their inner circle to you.

Incorporating the 5 Love Languages is a simple, yet deeply effective way to build a loyal, happy client base. Make the experience unique to your business and your guests will find your spa unforgettable!

Tazeem Jamal, LE, PMDT, is an award-winning Spa Biz Coach, spa owner and master esthetician. She has helped hundreds of spas scale and grow their businesses using her signature framework, The Purple Carpet Experience. Jamal has been featured on TV, radio, podcasts and in multiple industry publications.